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06-28-2006, 04:10 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Don
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: where tha birdies flock
Posts: 2,986
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sureloc holmes vs. stoneyq2
no rules...
heres a quick drop for ya... tryna elevate.. please give constructive feedback.. thanks!  chea, u kno me jumpin in against Sureloc Holmes// like a old detective nigga dust off ya chromes// dawg clean up ya guns, grab some oil n a rag// snatched that shit n added a lighter// damn its brighter, n now im boilin this fag// sureloc sayin beefs corny i jus wanna~be~battled// actin like a babys toy, afta i drop you gonna~be~rattled// heres a pacifier for yer mouth man nobody here hears you// close ya book end ya shit, cuz man nobody here fears you// nigga get swept in the closet where you belong wit da broom// you couldnt bring tears to me even if you brought upon 'DOOM'// i make chedda like 50 wit vitamin water i got tha game tied up// this here is nothing but a slaughter, your bars is all dried up// after 16 you crossin the line sayin did~i~make~it// like you runnin the marathon dude... ya bars de~hy~drat~ed// |
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06-28-2006, 05:54 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Don
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: where tha birdies flock
Posts: 2,986
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i dont even care if he responds or whatev i just want some feedback thanks!
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06-28-2006, 06:25 PM
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#3 (permalink) |
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RGFMod
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: ★☆ Texas ☆★
Posts: 7,816
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U elevated a couple of notches in one day nigga, good shit. chea, u kno me jumpin in against Sureloc Holmes// like a old detective nigga dust off ya chromes// ^^Nyce "investigation" tactic, a direct personal aimed at tha Holmes dawg clean up ya guns, grab some oil n a rag// snatched that shit n added a lighter// damn its brighter, n now im boilin this fag// ^^Switch-up...Picked up ya rhymes where u left off in order to maintain the follow-up of connecting with tha previous line sureloc sayin beefs corny i jus wanna~be~battled// actin like a babys toy, afta i drop you gonna~be~rattled// ^^2nd line needs to be condensed, it messes up tha flow...Or tha add more substance in tha 1st line to maintain tha flow of the 2nd heres a pacifier for yer mouth man nobody here hears you// close ya book end ya shit, cuz man nobody here fears you// Pacifier; concept of "pluggin tha mouth" followed with cant be heard was nyce...Second line could have been better nigga get swept in the closet where you belong wit da broom// you couldnt bring tears to me even if you brought upon 'DOOM'// ^^Nyce line, but watch ya flow, too many un-needed fillers...If it doesnt fit u must acquit  i make chedda like 50 wit vitamin water i got tha game tied up// this here is nothing but a slaughter, your bars is all dried up// ^^There's alot u could have did with this, u left room in this line to have a "multi-fest"...Just readin it, I came up with about three different multi's that would have went well in this. after 16 you crossin the line sayin did~i~make~it// like you runnin the marathon dude... ya bars de~hy~drat~ed// Tha flow is a bit off in this line to me...But tha dehydrated shit was nyce
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Back To My Roots.
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06-28-2006, 06:28 PM
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#4 (permalink) |
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Don
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: where tha birdies flock
Posts: 2,986
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i truly appreciate the feedback g-rated... thank you very much man
im gonna try n work on all that... but seriously... thanks |
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06-28-2006, 06:28 PM
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#5 (permalink) |
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RGF's Phantom...
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: ************************* This Years Record 163/20/112 *************************
Posts: 7,118
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thanks G-rated, I was gona do that but i'm too lazy
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06-29-2006, 04:07 PM
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#6 (permalink) |
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Wherewolves
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Scream Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 20,012
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Im comin at Stoney's neck, leave his shit red with my agility
Now you gotta REDNECK, a M.C. without street Credibility Im out for Presidents, He better than me? Wheres the evidence? Stoney gets shit on more than New Orleans Residents The Detective tryin to solve another mystery Killin Stoney just to put him out his mysery, instantly Futuristic, knew you missed it, Army of Soldiers, you Enlisted Point the Mic, kissed it, He Greater, must have Missed It Eat Stoney like Macaroni, Gangsta? Dude a str8 foney Cant Clone Me, for his B-Day asked Me for a Poney The Lord of the Swinging Sword slicin but not dicin He Bites and Knocks-Out in the Process More than Mike Tyson Stone a Cock-A-Roach, Spray his ass, Im RAID Put yo money to yo mouth, easiest 1000 I ever made Come Wrong, Cut off toes till they gotta get glued on Know as Sureloc, A.K.A. the Great Pue-Pon Cuz I Poop On Stoney, Im on A Plateu, sick on many different levels Stoney My ass, Stone Age Rhymes, Call This Bitch Pebbles...... Good Luck
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06-29-2006, 04:23 PM
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#7 (permalink) |
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Untouchable
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: I'm a Ny dude allday. Bx,Bk,L.I but I reside in the 412 right now!!
Posts: 3,713
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Stoney came with a nice verse. Could've used better multis and punches.
Best lines:sureloc sayin beefs corny i jus wanna~be~battled// actin like a babys toy, afta i drop you gonna~be~rattled WOrst Lines:chea, u kno me jumpin in against Sureloc Holmes// like a old detective nigga dust off ya chromes//(Bad start) Overall: Stoney came with aight wordplay but overall the verse was lackluster and couldve been better coming from Stoney. Improve ya flow. __________________________________________________ ____________ Surelocs verse was straight to the point. Came with wordplay and overall decent multis and also decent flow. Best Line(s):The Detective tryin to solve another mystery Killin Stoney just to put him out his mysery, instantly Futuristic, knew you missed it, Army of Soldiers, you Enlisted Point the Mic, kissed it, He Greater, must have Missed It Worst Line(s):The Lord of the Swinging Sword slicin but not dicin He Bites and Knocks-Out in the Process More than Mike Tyson (Didn't LL use this in 86'...lol...flow was off and word play was too familiar) Overall:Sureloc brought it to Stoney point blank. Surelocs verse was straight to the point with few funny lines. Sureloc had the right combo to merk Stoney IMO. MY VOTE:SURELOC
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Man I'm in the lab right now....please believe it!!
Mixtape coming soon!! "Failure to Launch"  Get ya weight up for '09 sucker ducks!!! |
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06-29-2006, 04:26 PM
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#8 (permalink) | |
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Don
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: where tha birdies flock
Posts: 2,986
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Quote:
haha nice shit man  beat me hands down |
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06-29-2006, 04:30 PM
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#9 (permalink) |
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Wherewolves
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Scream Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 20,012
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naw, I wouldnt say I merked him, wasnt my best, im savin that for the tourney.....blow you all away, thanks for the feedback Aril
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06-29-2006, 04:32 PM
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#10 (permalink) |
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RGF's Phantom...
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: ************************* This Years Record 163/20/112 *************************
Posts: 7,118
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Sureloc took this easy, he was on point like Aril said, and I liked his vocab, he came with some nice metaphors I liked the last line
 sureloc your flow was good, and your verse was tight, you didnt fall off for a sec...i liked the eat stoney like macaroni, why is it that stoney rhymes with alot of foods  Stoneys verse was good, but fell short..he had some nice multis, and wordplay..but I think he sacrificed his usual flow for it
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