How to be a better fanboy

[Rs0n1sT]

We help you to prove your unflinching loyalty with cold, hard, facts

Fanboys! They're the purest, noblest breed of gamers in existence. The front line grunts in the neverending console war, their purpose is simple: blind, drone-like obedience to their chosen format, and an unwillingness to acknowledge that any other system might be worthwhile. Gaming simply wouldn't be the same without them – whether they're pointing out that 'PS3 ROCKS!11!' on a messageboard or calling you despicable names on Xbox Live, they're the spice in gaming's chunky broth.

Perhaps you've thought about becoming a fanboy – but it’s not as easy as all that, is it? With skirmishes between the consoles heating up on the road to Christmas, it's no longer enough to simply mumble about Xboxes getting a bit hot or PS3s being too expensive – you need to back your ranting up with cool, unassailable logic.

Do you know which console's the preferred choice of West Coast rap? Or how many teraflops PS3's contributing to the fight against Parkinson's disease? Which console does John 'Doom' Carmack prefer? Well, that's where GamesRadar comes in. Read the next four pages and you’ll be armed with those facts and more, perfectly placed to pick your console and take your place in the ranks. Choose wisely.

We begin with Microsoft...



Microsoft fanboys

The background:

With Bill Gates and some of the most potty-mouthed teenagers on the planet in its corner, it's difficult to see Xbox 360 as a loveable underdog... but until recently, that's exactly what they were. The awkward growing pains are over – with the breezeblock-sized Xbox a distant memory, the slimline convex 360's a worthy addition to any living room, and uncle Bill's near-bottomless pockets mean there’s plenty of funding for the war effort. If there's an exclusive they want, Microsoft have got a good shot at keeping it – witness the alleged $50 million they flung at Rockstar for exclusive GTA IV content. With regular appearances on Entourage and the most vibrant online community around, 360's your pick whether you’re into sniping or ping-pong. If you're into hyper-cute Japanese RPGs? Okay, no so much.
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Forum ammunition:

Master Chief's the new face of gaming
Described by Time magazine as 'A new kind of celebrity for a new millenium', he was the first game character to be made into a waxwork at the Las Vegas branch of Madame Tussaud's.

It's a global phenomenon
In its first year on sale, Xbox 360 launched in 36 countries – more than any other console before or since – including Chile, India, Taiwan, Colombia, South Korea and the Czech Republic

They make the best ads
Remember that one where the mum gives birth and fires the baby through a window, then the baby turns into an old man and lands in a grave? Brilliant, right? Well, that got banned by the Independent Television Commission after mothers complained. Meanwhile, the most offensive ad Sony could manage was a PSP billboard reading 'Take A Running Jump Here' – swiftly pulled from train stations in case it inspired idiots to do what it said.

The leader of Team Ninja likes it
Tomonobu Itagaki's been quoted as saying: "I think Xbox 360 is the best game console on the earth. It’s better than PlayStation 3. PS3 has too complicated of architecture." And who are we to disagree with the man who made Ninja Gaiden and, um, DOA: Beach Volleyball?

It's going to get quieter and cooler
Microsoft are moving to the 65 nanometre manufacturing process – the most advanced way of making semiconductors around at the moment – later this year, meaning that it’ll give off less heat and noise.

It's more powerful than PS3 (sort of)
Although Sony's made a lot of noise about its seven-core Cell architecture, Xbox 360 has more general-purpose processing power than PS3, since it's got three general purpose cores compared to Cell's one. It’s also got 278 Gigs of memory system bandwidth compared to the PS2's 48 Gbs… That impresses some people.

Microsoft thought rumble was a 'next-gen feature'
When Microsoft and Sony were sued by rumble-innovators Immersion Technologies in 2002, Microsoft settled immediately while Sony held out until March this year. It’s been speculated that this was behind the removal of vibration from the Sixaxis – Sony claimed that rumble would have interfered with the motion-sensing technology – a move that proved unpopular with developers and gamers. Sony's laughable about-turn, going from claiming that rumble was a 'last-gen feature' to announcing the Dual Shock 3 in Tokyo last week is a great little anecdote to drop into any Sony Vs Microsoft argument.

Sony fanboys

The background:

It's the cool one: the one everyone's mum thinks about when you mention computer games, the one scaremongering newspapers always mention, the ones the bad kids play without any headphones on trains. PlayStation's popular, but it's also aspirational – the cinematic visuals of games like Heavenly Sword show that Sony are at least trying to push the boundaries of what's possible, while the likes of Uncharted and the latest Ratchet & Clank showcase pure gaming at its best.

If you're hitching yourself to the Sony wagon, you’ll want to point out that games like Loco Roco and Little Big Planet represent a welcome departure from the men-in-big-shoulder-pads Xbox 360 catalogue, then segue smoothly into talking about how Home's going to reinvent online interaction. Avoid thorny topics like Manchester Cathedral and the goat thing.
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Forum ammunition:

Developers like it
At GDC 2007 Shiny Entertainment founder Dave Perry said: "I think that Sony has made the best machine. It's the best piece of hardware, without question," while TimeSplitters creator and Free Radical Design head honcho Dave Doak says that: "Playstation has always been a sort of spiritual home for us."

It's helping to cure Alzheimer's
In March Stanford University announced that their Folding@Home project was expanding to the PS3, letting console owners lend their processing power to the project's research into diseases like Parkinson's and several forms of cancer. More than 250,000 users have contributed, and at its peak the PS3 contributes around 700 teraflops of processing power, a whopping 420 more teraflops than the world’s most powerful supercomputer Blue Gene.

It's got loads of games for it
Despite all the grumbles about backward compatibility, PS3 owners have got a massive back catalogue to choose from: 1,782 of the 2,451 PS2 games so far released in Europe will work on a PS3, while the Xbox 360 boasts a mere 295 backwards compatible games at last count.

It's the dictator’s choice
In December 2000 US Customs and the FBI jointly investigated the transfer of a large number - as many as 4000 - of PS2s to Iraq. Some 'experts' claimed that 12-15 of the machines bundled together could be powerful enough to control a pilotless plane, while also getting past the embargo on the transfer of supercomputers to Iraq due to their console status. Reports that George Bush has an Xbox: unconfirmed.

Xbox 360s tend to break
A lot. With Microsoft putting aside a reported $1 billion to replace consoles suffering from the Red Ring Of Death, many industry analysts put the (unconfirmed) failure rate of 360s at a terrifying one in three. According to German magazine ComputerTechnik it's all because they used the wrong sort of lead-free solder...

It's got Blu-Ray
Although the conflict was compared to the great Betamax vs VHS war of the 80s, Sony's preferred format's got the wink from Blockbuster, who claim that '70 percent of consumers are renting Blu-Ray discs'. Industry analysts point to the bundling of a Blu-Ray player with PS3 - and the fact that most porn studios are releasing content on Blu-Ray – as the reason for the victory.

Rappers love it
Redman name-drops the console on Let's Get Dirty, pointing out that: "My dress code is all black when I'm makin' the moves, similar to the new PlayStation 2." Ludacris advocates getting one in your car in Roll Out, asking "PlayStation 2 up in the ride and is that Lorenzo-kitted?" Meanwhile, on the Grind Date, hip-hop luminaries De La Soul state that they "got a grind date to make, no time for sittin’ and playin’ Xbox." And nobody ever mentions the GameCube.

PS3s can kill 360s
1UP editor John Davidson reports leaving his two children playing with the rival consoles encased in the same entertainment centre – separately the heat they give off's impressive, but together they created furnace-like atmosphere in which only Sony's shiny wonderbeast survived.

Nintendo fanboys

The background:

Everybody, everybody loves them. Nintendo fans exist at opposite ends of the spectrum – hardcore fans who've still got their N64s, post Mario speedruns on YouTube and tell everyone listening that Ocarina Of Time's the best game ever made... and people who'd never played a game before they had a go of Wii Bowling. With the Wii refusing to get in the my-processor's-bigger-than-yours one-upmanship that demeans the other consoles, it's tough to really hate, but also lacks the raw grunt to see it through a technical showdown. Point to the fact that Wii and DS get normal people playing games and show a willingness to think about new control technologies. Casually mention the 'similarity' between the Wii-mote and SixAxis, and ask any PS3 owners in the vicinity what the best use of motion control on their platform is. Talk about innovative games like Trauma Centre and Elite Beat Agents, which aren't available on any other console. And for Christ's sake shut up about Red Steel.
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Forum ammunition:

Nintendo fans are nicer
The total casualty list from the US launch of PS3 included one man with a broken jaw (from being pushed into a flagpole during a sprint for the doors), several pepper-spray victims (from police controlling riots in Virginia) and one gunshot wound (from a man being mugged in Pultnam, Connecticut). Meanwhile, at the Times Square Wii launch, Ninty fans passed out home-made cookies and cushions with Wii Love You written on them.

It has a certain Zen appeal
Wii represents a beautiful philosophical departure from the traditional arms race of bigger and better. In the words of Shigeru 'Shigsy' Miyamoto: "Power isn't everything for a console. Too many powerful consoles can't coexist. It's like having only ferocious dinosaurs. They might fight and hasten their own extinction."

It's selling by the shedload
Despite all Sony's scaremongering about PS3 shortages, it's Wii that everyone's still having trouble getting hold of. With more than 9 million consoles sold worldwide, shops in the US and UK are still reporting that demand's outstripping supply. Oh, and they're also selling more than their rivals, with 8.9 million units sold by Xbox 360 and a piffling 3.7 million PS3s in homes, according to the Financial Times.

They've got the most popular characters
Collectively the Mario Bros platform games have sold more than 193 million copies, making it the best-selling series of all time. Also, they're the only company whose mascot's been played by both an Oscar-nominated actor (Bob Hoskins in the film) and a professional wrestler (Captain Lou Albano in the Super Mario Bros TV Show). Mario's also the only videogame character to be a part of the Hollywood Wax Museum.

It's inclusive
Pensioners at the Sunrise Home in Birmingham have organised a Wii bowling league. The oldest player is 103.

It's award-winning
Wii's accolades included the Game Critics Best In Show Award from E3 2006, Popular Science's Grand Award for Home Entertainment, and, oddly, a place in PC World's 20 Most Innovative Products of the Year. Meanwhile, the DS bagged a Gadget of the week award from Time Magazine.

It's been a surprise hit against the odds
Some third-party developers have actually apologised for not taking Wii seriously. Ubisoft head honcho Yves Guillemot was quoted in German paper Der Spiegel as admitting that their launch titles were slightly rushed.

It'll make you fitter
Computer programmer Mickey DeLorenzo lost nine pounds in six weeks sticking to strict 30-minute a day Wii habit, and has since signed a deal to write a book tentatively titled The Wii Workout. A study by Liverpool John Moore's University suggests that gamers burn 1,800 calories in every twelve hours play – about the same as two entire packets of Jaffa Cakes.

PC fanboys

The background:

There are obvious benefits. You get a keyboard and mouse, which instantly makes it easier to play FPS games with the sort of terrifying precision that's impossible on a joypad. The online service is pretty much completely free. It's miles better if you want to play historical strategy games. And, of course, there's a ton of software available for nothing made available by charitable amateurs. But there's much more to playing on PC than simply spending your entire life gangkilling noobs in World Of Warcraft, and if you've got the money to spend you’ll be able to get a machine that dwarfs anything else on the market...
Big Screen, Main Screen



It pisses in the consoles' eyes in terms of power
You've probably heard a lot about PS3's multiple cores, but it's something that's even more important on PC. Until recently, developers have been taking advantage of faster processors, but with overheating suddenly a concern, chip makers are adding multiple cores running at slower speeds. Games like Warcraft and Battlefield have dealt with this with patches so far, but now developers are starting to get the hang of coding for multi-core PS2s, they're set to leap past what even the PS3 can do...

It’s already got the friendliest chat-space
Sony's home bears an uncanny resemblance to Linden Labs' Second Life, except that the latter's already got 8.9 million registered users and its own gigantic world full of often free user-created content. Also, it's unclear as yet what kind of restrictions Sony will be placing on content and costumes created for home, but it's almost a dead cert that you won’t be able to ride a sex-horse.

You can see Lara naked
An army of helpful, artistic perverts mean you can find mods that'll let you dress Ms Croft in everything from tiger fur to her birthday suit, at no cost. And while console owners will have to wait until April to see the Statue Of Liberty in GTA, PC owners have had the big green lady in their game since 2003, courtesy of the RealGTA mod.

John Carmack likes them
Even though the iD supremo's working on Rage for PS3, he says of next-gen consoles that: "They can quote these incredibly high numbers of giga-flops or tera-flops or whatever, but in reality, when you do a straightforward development process on them, they’re significantly slower than a modern high-end PC."

[Rs0n1sT]

so where's all the fanboys @.......... did ya'll learn anything about your rivals?

[ph15h]

after reading it... i can't say ima nintendo fanboy ne more... i'm in luv with all systems unbiasly except towards 3DOs n shits that come out just to come out... Vtech.. LOL...

waiting for In$anity to take the whole thread offensively... he's like the mixture of a fanboy from every country for that system combined all into one.. then adding more blind faith... and chauvinism...

[Rs0n1sT]

i'm just a gaming fanboy.. all systems... all good

[kharmon]

Originally Posted by Rs0n1sT

i'm just a gaming fanboy.. all systems... all good

Atari jaguar >>>> all these current systems.

[SESSO]

They all have their own thing going for them. I personally like them all.

[Rs0n1sT]

the jag = goat

[kharmon]

Originally Posted by Rs0n1sT

the jag = goat

64bit muthafuka!!!!!!

Sony, MS. Nintendo >>> :killthema <<< Atari.

[Rs0n1sT]

where's the biggest fanboy of them all????

[In$anity]

Originally Posted by Rs0n1sT

where's the biggest fanboy of them all????

Son Of La aint on yet. You'll do though