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#1 (permalink) |
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RGFMod
![]() Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: BK/NYC/718
Posts: 9,792
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When cursing and confusion are your only reward
The hard part's over. You've finished every mission. You've collected every power up. You've beaten every boss. You've saved the world and probably a few princesses to boot. Now all you want is your reward - some long awaited, richly deserved resolution. You won't find it here. No, these seven games have that other kind of ending. The kind that mocks you, disappoints you, angers you and just plain baffles you all at once. The kind that answers nothing but adds a maddening amount of mystery to everything. The kind that leaves you staring at the screen, dumb founded, waiting for the real conclusion to begin. The kind that could only have been written in a bar, an executive boardroom or some developer's dream journal. In other words, these are endings that make you go, WHAT?! THE?! F--... well, you get the idea. Painfully Obvious Warning: SPOILERS AHEAD. #7 OUT OF THIS WORLD (1990) The ending. Where to begin? The last mission takes place in a steamy alien bathhouse, overflowing with naked extraterrestrial ass. The hero wins the battle, only to trip and fall in a hole. Some guy rescues him and then kicks him in the face, possibly killing him. Next, the final boss is defeated through a breathtaking combination of crawling and lever pulling. Finally - and here's where things get weird - a pterodactyl shows up and saves the day. Cue elevator music. End scene. ![]() VIDEO LINK Huh?! According to its reclusive French creator, the ending to Out of this World was left intentionally ambiguous, like classic film or literature. Okay, but was it also left intentionally hilarious? Because no matter how emotionally attached we are to the game's protagonist, we can't help but laugh at his ridiculous fate. We're sorry. #6 BIOSHOCK (2007) The ending. Play nice and you save the Little Sisters. Hooray! But then you also - apparently - whisk them away to small town suburbia, put them through college, finance their weddings, play grandpa to their kids and die in their arms. Of course. Play mean and you hurt the Little Sisters. Boo! Hiss! But then you also - apparently - decide to marshal an army of flying mutants to take over the world using a nuclear warhead you just happened to find floating around in the ocean. Come on, you must have seen that coming... Huh?! BioShock is not black and white, but a masterpiece of grey. Nothing is clear; nothing is simple; nothing is defined. Above all, your character and your morality are whatever you make them, slates left purposely blank and ready for interpretation. Which is why these extreme endings feel like such betrayals. Just because we harvested a Little Sister or two - hey, Rapture's a dangerous place! - does not mean we deserve to be cast as crazy, megalomaniac Bond villains. And just because we rescued every Little Sister - for the Achievement, while killing all the poor Big Daddies in the process - does not mean we deserve to be cast in a tearful Lifetime Movie of the Week, either. GOOOOOD VIDEO LINK BAAAD VIDEO LINK ![]() #5 BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL (2003) The ending. You're a battery. An evil battery. Sure, you may have thought you were playing a noble, selfless photographer who fights alien oppressors and protects innocent orphans, but you were wrong. As the big ugly thing at the end of the game states, "You alone have brought them to me. They have followed you blindly. You are the source of my powers; the instrument of my strength." P.S. Your best friend is infected with a horrible disease. Bye! VIDEO LINK Huh?! Ha ha ha. Good one, guys. You really surprised us with that twist. And that after-credits cliffhanger... well, that just goes and changes everything, doesn't it? Seriously, nice job. We honestly have no idea what to expect in the next game now. Will we explore our heroine's obviously mysterious past? Will we find out more about what she is and what she can do? Will the aliens return and, if so, will they use her powers? Will that poor pig be okay? Wait - there isn't a next game? There never will be? We hate you. ![]() #4 HALO 2 (2004) The ending. What ending? Oh, you mean this? VIDEO LINK Huh?! This "ending" may not be the most confusing or bizarre in our hobby's history, but it's definitely the most insulting. After a mere four to six hours of play, half of which didn't even feature the character fans paid to see, one of the most highly anticipated games of all time simply stopped. No closure. No explanation. Just a slammed door and a sign reading, "You want more? Buy the sequel." Three years and $60 later, we finally got some answers. Sort of. ![]() #3 MONSTER PARTY (1989) The ending. You defeat all the monsters. Awesome! But then a demon forces you to open a creepy box. Holy crap! But then a beautiful princess comes out of the box. Awesome!! But then the princess transforms into a hideous beast. Holy crap!! But then more monsters show up and maybe they came to save you? But then no, they came to melt your face and skin off instead. But then you wake up and it was all a dream and your mom's making you breakfast and you're gonna catch the school bus and everything's okay. AWESOME!!! But then that demon busts down your bedroom door and it wasn't a dream and it's all real and you're going to Hell... again. CRAP. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-yhHrgKqlA OH MY GOD, WHAT THE EFF IS GOING ON HERE?!?! Don't ask us! We've spent the past 18 years in therapy trying to forget we ever witnessed this child-hating, sleep-destroying psychological roller coaster. Our best explanation - the game was made in Japan. Plus, it was on the original NES, which kind of had a track record for this shit. ![]() #2 METAL GEAR SOLID 2 (2001) The ending. Seriously, we haven't got a clue. Something about the President of the Internet fighting his gay son's clone with a dead man's arm and a pregnant lady in a mech tells the real or maybe fake Snake that he has to get to New York before the anniversary of George Washington's inauguration... or the terrorists win. Our head hurts just watching the condensed and edited footage below. http://www.gamesradar.com/us/video/u...15143213568041 Huh?! The whole game is like this. In fact, the plot synopsis on Wiki is over 2000 words long, includes four subsections, contains almost 70 reference links and still doesn't make a damn lick of sense. So why single out the ending? Because millions of trusting and loyal fans believed that the ending would justify their patience with the rest of the game. They diligently memorized every detail, followed every twist, profiled every character and accepted every philosophical rant in the vain hope that it would all come together somehow in time for the credits. It didn't... it only got worse... and Metal Gear Solid's reputation as the definitive WTF franchise was sealed. ![]() #1 DEAD OR ALIVE 4 (2005) The ending. Take your pick. You want the one with the half-naked girl making a fresh garden salad? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfstEPJv09w Or the one with the half-naked girl roundhouse kicking some old pervert in the face for touching her boobs? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyQAggB_m50 Or maybe the one with the half-naked girl transforming into a mermaid and getting caught in a fisherman's net? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWEic0haqD8 How about a psychedelic drug- and lute-inspired dance marathon? (Sorry, no half-naked girls here.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-0iPoCjXxc A jazz tribute to the terrible tragedy of a dropped and wasted sticky bun? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1OTpqgvmAc The tomb raiding adventures of a magical Teletubby (and return of the half-naked girl)? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAhHu6BDBFM Or the REAL ending... six minutes of Armageddon set to Aerosmith. Yeah. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tX4JZp9hw1U Huh?! Exactly. ![]() |
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#2 (permalink) |
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I GOT A GOLD CHAAIIN
![]() Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Australia, mate.
Posts: 16,079
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word, metal gear solid had me goin "what thaaa fuuck???"
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#3 (permalink) |
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Don
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,068
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Screw Halo 2's ending.....I almost broke the controller because of it
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#4 (permalink) |
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New Orleans 4 Life
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Damn Bioshocks Ending Is Fucking Crazy
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#5 (permalink) |
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Untouchable
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wherever Soulja Boy is not Welcome
Posts: 3,754
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MGS2 was crazy...
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megan fox is hot ![]() and he's gone... would say smoke2... but i wasted all the pictures |
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#6 (permalink) |
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Don
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 2,992
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I agree with MGS, that game was on some seriously messed up ish.
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#7 (permalink) |
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Rap GodFather
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: London Town
Posts: 6,390
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#8 (permalink) | |
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Capo
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: John Adams projects (the south bronx) NY
Posts: 781
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Quote:
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![]() Fuck Cuz or Blood, Dont bang on the color, Bang on the hater ![]() |
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#9 (permalink) |
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Capo
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: John Adams projects (the south bronx) NY
Posts: 781
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oh yea and that fuckyn G-unit shit was bad too, but then again the whole fuckyn game was bad anyway
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![]() Fuck Cuz or Blood, Dont bang on the color, Bang on the hater ![]() |
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