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Old 05-28-2007, 08:49 PM   #1 (permalink)
INT
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Default <****i Aint Done****>

THROUGH CONSTANT TROUBLE,THROUGH CONSTANT STRUGGLES
I HELD IT DOWN N KEPT IT REAL
IF YA'LL BEEN THROUGH THE SAME YA'LL KNOW JUST HOW IT FEELS
NEVA DROP,NEVA BAIL,NEVA STOP,NEVA FAIL
AND MAN BELIEVE ME ,I WON'T NEVA GIVE THIS UP EASY
WON'T NEVA GET CAUGHT SLIPPIN MAN,
CAUSE EVEN WHEN IT'S GOIN JUST HOW I PLANNED IT
I NEVA TAKE THIS FOR GRANTED
I KNOW I NEED TA MAKE IT,I SEE MY CHANCE I FEEL THE NEED TA TAKE IT
BUT IT'S JUST ONE THING,
I'M STILL CONFUSED BY WHY YOU CHOOSE TA FAKE IT
AND I GOTTA BE BLUNT,I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YA LIES ,I SEE YA FRONT
IT'S IN YA EYES....SHIT THIS THE REAL ME,MAN I AINT IN DISGUISE
STILL I RISE TA MAKE ADVANCES,YA'LL OUTA SECOND CHANCES,
BURNED YA BRIDGES,SENT MY ASS TA JAIL BUT I AINT TURNED RELIGIOUS
BITCHES LISTEN,I AINT MEANT TA FAIL,AND I AINT FORGOTTEN
SHIT I BEEN PLOTTIN SINCE THE SECOND I GOT IN
MAN I AINT ROTTIN IN THIS BITCH,I AINT DONE,I AINT FINISHED
I AINT GON' SUCCOME,N SHIT MAN I AINT LOST
SO WHAT YOU THINK YOU WON
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Old 05-29-2007, 12:42 PM   #2 (permalink)
INT
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Old 05-30-2007, 12:53 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I really liked how you used constant wording with some sentences.
"NEVA DROP,NEVA BAIL,NEVA STOP,NEVA FAIL"

It was good but it would be better with more plots.
The flow was really good.
- I'm just a rookie so don't take my posts to seriously
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Old 05-30-2007, 01:14 AM   #4 (permalink)
INT
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Everyones Opinion Is Accepted.
Rookie Or Not,thanks For The Feedback Man.
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