L O S..im new to dis shit....read some real shit

[losspaceghost]

this some real shit, not the bull or pull shit, no boosie no webbie, but some trill shit/all of these so called players shuffling, but they aint deal shit/okay i had to let off some ignorant shit/now str8 to the point like an inbound/no jokes a few games like a serious clown/not a pitcher but the center of attention like i stand at the mound/so fake, talk shit than give a nigga a pound/im the best half a ki, half a ki/thats pound for pound/L O S S P A C E G H O S T/dont get it twisted, im not a blunt/niggas aint gang bangin, they crew periods they bloods once a month/U S D A drops white girl, now everybody got hilary duff/niggas like bad poker players, they cant even hold they bluff/i knew it was something pillow bout these niggas they fluff/sissies, cowards, tricks n huffs/its a shame u gotta beat u dont need flow no mo/water no sink no mo/but we all gonna laugh watchin ya boat sink from sho/from shore/let me correct it/im sure/if my craft was so ill perfect it/my mistakes r what u stride for/my gettin by is ur impossible, so therefore/here is a present along with a whore/to weather my jab hook it'll leave u brain sore/no punchlines here daddy/i spit knockout rounds/u can have a title but i got that knockout crown/mannnnnnnnnnnn......its LOS daddy

[Iverson_Fan]

Next time space your shit out into bars, it SUCKS reading shit like that.

not a pitcher but the center of attention like i stand at the mound,
so fake, talk shit than give a nigga a pound

Like that.

That "Okay now str8 to the point like an inbound" is nice, I like that line a lot. Try putting some mulits in there and it would prolly flow a lot better. If that was your first time writing tho its not bad at all. Overall pretty simple, but thats a lot better start than most people.