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06-08-2006, 04:32 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Rookie
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 26
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my freestyle
AND-WONE Steppin up to the Mic, Anyone Wanna Battle I'm Ready to put my hand's up to Fight, Ready To Lay someone out like Winky Right, N Put em to sleep and say GoodNite, Cuz I'm A mutha Fuckin PitBUll i Dont Bark i Bite, Havin Any Mutha Fuckin Hater in a Fright, Cuz they dont want none of me they Rather Be at Home Sleepin Holdin there TeddyBear's Tight, Hater's Are Fake, There as Soft as Cake,They wanna roll up on me, I'm Ready to Annihilate, Ready to serve em there last meal On there Plate,But thats were everything Ends n they meet there Fate,Eating up these Pussy ass mutha fucka's like a Snake, They Neva Stair Cuz they look like Bate,They Scared They Neva Look cuz they Seen wat i did to the last Rat i Ate,But it's not to late for them to Correct There First Mistake,So Check Mate-
Give me some FeedBack Tell me wat you think i Need to work on |
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06-08-2006, 07:41 AM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Underboss
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Da Dirty Glove
Posts: 1,080
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2 rhymey man
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06-08-2006, 12:27 PM
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#3 (permalink) |
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RGF's Phantom...
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: ************************* This Years Record 163/20/112 *************************
Posts: 7,118
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this is what your rhymes are like
_______ate __________________________________________________ great __hate___________________________state there's so much filler it takes me a a minute to get to the words that rhyme
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06-08-2006, 12:51 PM
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#4 (permalink) |
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Untouchable
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: I'm a Ny dude allday. Bx,Bk,L.I but I reside in the 412 right now!!
Posts: 3,621
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I'm maybe too brutally honest sometimes. I'm maybe too much into lyrical content sometimes but that was plain Wack Juice. Like if you was in a cypher on the block they would laugh at you then boot you out the cypher. Just keep elevating man. Try to make ya shit more creative and original.
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Before you mention me remember:
I got unsettled rage,google maps and yellow pages No patience and several cases in several places I break bones like I break promises to do audio I'm sorry yo...no I'm not!!Stop sweating me like cardio-The Problym Mayne |
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06-08-2006, 01:38 PM
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#5 (permalink) |
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Rookie
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 26
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thx for the feedback ill use your tips
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06-08-2006, 01:44 PM
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#6 (permalink) | |
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RGF's Phantom...
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: ************************* This Years Record 163/20/112 *************************
Posts: 7,118
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Quote:
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06-08-2006, 01:46 PM
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#7 (permalink) | |
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Rookie
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 26
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Quote:
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06-09-2006, 12:35 AM
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#8 (permalink) |
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Soldier
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 550
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wow, not a bit of love in here (though I guess they showed love by replying at all). But yeah man, that shit is mad simple. And that goes for every aspect (rhymes/style/flow/structure &c.). Try to give niggas something that they haven't heard before/wouldn't think of.
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