freestyle i wrote last week, feedback

[Wreck]

i pop the heat
stomp at ya feet
but will i stop to retreat suddenly because of defeat

life aint depressing, the game is just weak
every day of the week i speak my mind
but never greet the blind
then again i meet my requirements
death is forever because heaven is without a clue
if i have nothing to prove, why would you doubt my crew
its like Ross, "Everyday im Hustlin,"
OJ out of jail because of Johnny, though police still handcuffing him
ive been on bail, stail traits as my stailmate, livin off jail
flames rise through my closing eyes, like im spittin through hell
the game is aced like spades, heres my ghetto report card grades
brandishing razors causing flesh exposed to band aids
just check my rating, high profile quarterback
my brain is scrappy so losing all my money in the bank, i finally got my quarters back
i take this approach back to the lab
but every reporter on my case in New Jersey has to react
im trapped, if i could only take the slim shady approach and just laugh
through the messy messiah, everything and anything wouldn't be so bad
so ill put Michael Jackson on that
the remix to the 80s songs with little boys now laughing in the back of the track
can't even question my music
i lose it when i cruise ships
and let the computer execute on all of my misses
and cruise through life like Tom, somehow on another mission
if i could position myself to listen
there'd be no more bribary, blabbing and bitching
my righteous cause is to stand tall
to fight each and every one of yall
or i could just ball myself out into one and just forget about the world i once saw
theres somebody out there, who understands me
and older vets speak from the heart like seniors speaking on underclassmen week
the game is bittersweet, look what the fuck it did to me
now everybody wonders how my kids will be
maybe i'm bad (MJ) but my legacy aint history
ive sprayed the facts while i stay in tact but yall just seen the very jist of me
critics are pissed at me, for all the things ive said, done and what ive become of
like on my remix to One Blood, how im showing the young bros love
who really wants us, we outsiders in the midst of things
if i was an NBA baller like Chauncey, id already shit on rings
and give my pencil steady wings
and just let my bitches on the instrumentals sing
like 50 on the massacre
im bringing hip hop back, but aint no disaster in here









feedback plz, would be appreciated

[Wreck]

feedbackk

[Son Of LA]

its nice..but some parts i dont get..like this
ike 50 on the massacre
im bringing hip hop back, but aint no disaster in here

it dont rhyme..overall its aight

[Wreck]

the massacre was 50 cent's last album and it was a disaster, it doesnt rhyme totally but it does kinda

[Ibrahim Jones]

this was ok..nothing great
preety simple
alot of words were stretched ..
keep elevating

peep my track circles

[Wreck]

thanks for the feedback, this was helpin my flow too, wasnt real long but it was easy as far as flow, some punches

[Aril Problym]

"freestyle i wrote last week"

How do you write a freestyle?! A freestyle is just spitting it without writing down. Spitting lyricism off the top of your head. NOt memorizing or writing down your verse!! But this verse was average...nothing spectacular....NOthing that got me excited!!

[Wreck]

keystyle then for the smartasses, and alright then, like i said, it was more towards writing some shit down and for my flow

[Aril Problym]

Originally Posted by Wreck™

keystyle then for the smartasses, and alright then, like i said, it was more towards writing some shit down and for my flow

Keystyle is spitting a freestyle and then typing it down.....or typing as you spit it!! Either way the verse didn't excite me!!

[Wreck]

dont matter to me if it excited you, feedback, not "im the greatest at keystyles/battles, your verse sucks" kinda shit